How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy?

She tried to take the WALKERS cookies for a walk!

A Geep

Yo mama so fat when she farted she created the global warming.

A murmured.

Your mama so fat, she wears a sock on each toe. Your mama so fat that when she gets on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" ​ Your mama so fat, she has to use google earth to take a selfie.​ ​ Your mama so fat, the photo you took of her last christmas is still printing. Your mama so fat that when she want to iron her dress, she has to go out to her driveway. ​ ​ Your mama so fat that when she gets dressed, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt ​ ​ Your mama so fat that her favourite necklace is the food chain. ​ ​ Your mama so fat that when she lays down on memory foam, it immediately forgets everything. ​ Your mama so fat that when she fell over, nobody was laughing but the ground sure was cracking up. ​ Your mama so fat that when she steps on the scales it says "to be continued". ​ ​ Your mama so fat that she don't need the internet, she is already worldwide. ​ ​ Your mama so fat that when she went sunbathing at the beach, greenpeace came along and pushed her back into the ocean. ​ Youre mama so fat that her butt has it's own zip code. ​ Your mama so fat that when she goes out to check her mail, it measures 9 on the Richter scale. Youre mama so fat that the police took her in for for carrying 100 kilos of crack. Your mama so fat not even Dora was able to explore her. ​ Your mama so fat, when she eats food her fitbit thinks that she is exercising. ​ Your mama so fat, her belly button has an echo. ​ Your mama so fat, her blood type is Nutella. ​ Source: [Yo Mama Jokes](https://www.keeplaughingforever.com/yo-mama-jokes) ​

A mistake

I kneeled down to him, put my hand on his shoulder and said “Yeah Kiddo sorry, but neither are you”